The Cairo streets where girls pretend to be boys

 

 HORRIFIC :(

Society�s permissive attitude to domestic abuse is also a contributing factor to a child�s decision to run away. There are laws to deal with abusive parents, and hotlines to report them. But in a culture where many feel parents should have the right to deal with their children how they like, legislation isn�t always followed. �A man could beat his son to death in front of a police officer in the street,� explains Shaimaa, an in-house psychologist at Hope. �But nobody would intervene because it was his son.�

As a result, the street may literally become the only avenue left to abused children. And once there they become fair game for adults other than their parents.

It is 9.30pm and long past dark. Shaimaa, the psychologist, is in northeast Cairo, walking the streets of an upmarket suburb. Wealthy locals sip coffee at tables lining the pavements, or queue to buy ice cream from one of the city�s fanciest parlours.

But Shaimaa is not here to meet them. As she often is, Shaimaa is searching for a missing teenager. Sarah was abused by her parents, became a prostitute, and ended up sold by her pimp to men from the Gulf who kept her in a flat in Cairo. Somehow she escaped, and later started turning up at a drop-in centre, where Shaimaa first met her. But now Sarah has disappeared again, and Shaimaa wants to find her. Some of the other street girls said she might be here in Korba.

It is often dangerous work, doing what Shaimaa does. Founded in 1988 by an expat Brit, Richard Hemsley, Hope Village now runs several day-centres and long-term shelters that aim to gradually rehabilitate street children back into mainstream society. Many of the girls Shaimaa coaxes into the shelters can�t stand the imposition of a routine � so, like Sarah, they sometimes disappear. One of Shaimaa�s jobs is to find them.

But finding them is tough. Coaxing a girl back to the shelter might disrupt a prostitution ring. In any given area, Shaimaa needs the blessing of the local street leader � otherwise she might get attacked. �If I�m going out to get a girl that I know is being used by a group of men, then I�m a target,� Shaimaa says. �I�m taking a source of income from them.�

Sometimes the attackers come to the shelters themselves. At one drop-in centre, four men once entered with machetes and said if a certain girl wasn�t returned to them, they�d cut everyone�s heads off.

And, occasionally, the threat comes from the girls themselves. In a fit of self-loathing, one teenager staying at a shelter stormed out of a group meeting, took out a blade and began to cut herself, slashing Shaimaa when she came near. As a matter of course, Shaimaa and her colleagues at Hope Village have bi-annual check-ups and immunisations against various diseases. Some of the girls they work with are HIV positive, or suffer from hepatitis C.

In such a thankless job, many of those who work at Hope Village have particular memories that keep them motivated. For Shaimaa, it is the image of one of her first patients: a nine-year-old who came to a drop-in centre after being gang-raped on the street.

�All these years later, that girl is still what keeps me going,� says Shaimaa, who thought the job wasn�t for her until she saw the nine-year-old playing at the centre. �I can�t forget her sitting so innocently on the swing as she was still bleeding from the rape.�

Source

Abdallah Adhami - Islam Forbids Hitting Ones Wife

 Must watch. Allah bless this Sheikh.

Afghanistan: No Country for Women

Under the Taliban women were banned from going to school and working. They were not allowed to leave their homes without a male relative or be seen in public without a burqa. For defying the regime's repressive laws, women were openly flogged and executed.

But 13 years after the fall of the Taliban, and despite the influx of billions of dollars in development aid, many Afghan women are still living in terror.

A report by Global Rights estimates that almost 90 percent of women experience physical, sexual or psychological abuse or forced marriage. Overwhelmingly, it is their families who are committing these crimes.

"It's a question of control and power," said Sima Samar, a prominent women's rights activist and chairperson of the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission. "You use religion, you use culture, you use tradition, you use gender to keep the power, to keep control."

When Mariam, 25, got married five years ago, she never imagined that she would end up in a shelter.

"When I first saw my husband I thought he was the right man for me," she said, sitting on the floor of the shelter with her head covered in a black scarf.

"I thought I'd have someone to share my pain and my secrets with. I'd have children and live a happy life."

But she says the abuse began almost immediately. Without warning, her husband would erupt into violent rages, at times threatening her with a loaded gun or dragging her by her hair through their home.

When she tried to seek help from the police, they released her husband after a few hours. Even her parents refused to help her, returning her to her in-laws after assurances that she would not be beaten.

Mariam says her husband was diagnosed with a mental illness and prescribed medication. But the torment continued.

"I thought about killing myself but I couldn't go through with it because I was pregnant. I was so tired. Most of the time I didn't even have the energy to defend myself and nobody was there to defend me," she said, showing no emotion.

Source

�We record all the killing of women by men. You see a pattern�

 

MUMTAHINA JANNAT, 29

Strangled in her east London home

Mumtahina Jannat was killed by her abusive husband, Abdul Kadir, on 5 July 2011. Kadir, 49, was found guilty of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment, to serve a minimum of 17 years.

Jannat, known as Ruma, was 16 when she married the wealthy Kadir in Bangladesh, but from their wedding night until her death she suffered near continual abuse. They moved to the UK in 2002. �She had such a sweet demeanour. She wanted to be surrounded by books,� said Onjali Rauf, Jannat�s niece.

Kadir became infuriated by her independence, and Jannat confided to her family that he had drugged, beaten and raped her. She was forced to give up a college course and driving lessons. Shortly after their second child was born, Kadir kicked her in the stomach after a caesarean section, causing the stitches to open up.

Struggling with pressures of �family honour�, she endured abuse for years, but when he turned his violence towards her children, she sought help. and fled to a refuge in 2005. With an injunction in place, she tried to build a new life, �She was so proud to get her citizenship certificate in the UK, and felt it was her first step towards becoming an educated woman,� said Rauf. But Kadir did not let go, and a three-year battle over his contact with the children wore Jannat down. Every time she made a renewed effort to break free, he would threaten her family or use the children to get back into her life.

In an attempt to rid herself of Kadir, Jannat applied for sole custody of the children. She told the judge: �I�m scared he will kill me.� The judge said she was being silly. �Ruma gave up then: she just lost hope,� said Rauf.

Kadir was able to force his way back into her home. The abuse continued, and in early 2011 Jannat made her final bid for freedom, telling him he couldn�t return. Two days later she was seen dropping her daughter off at school. An hour and a half later Kadir rang his brother to say: �I�m in trouble.� Jannat had been strangled with her own scarf.

Kadir denied murder, saying the death had been accidental. A jury took less than an hour to return a guilty verdict.

Full article

Ramadan Reflection Day 18: No Woman Left Behind

A man once come to the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, asking for financial support. The Prophet asked him what he owned in his home and other than a blanket that he and his wife used to sleep on, they owned a plate. The Prophet asked him to bring the plate and then following one of the congregational prayers, he asks the people in attendance who would purchase the plate. He received a bid for it and then asked who would give more for it. The money that was raised was then used to purchase the blade of an axe. The Prophet then put a piece of wood in it to serve as its handle and gave it to the man so that he could cut his own wood and sell it to make money. His solution was long-term, not just in the moment.

Since Ramadan began, I've seen and been in contact with numerous women who are in need of support and help. Amongst them are three women whose husbands have been unfaithful to them, a woman who became pregnant and then abandoned by the man who impregnated her, a convert on the verge of homelessness whose family has disowned her and local community won't invite her into their homes let alone provide her with support, and a survivor so frustrated with the lack of resources available to her that she is starting to doubt her faith because she doesn't understand why Muslims haven't built a support system for people in her situation. For each one of these women, there are thousands more who need our help. And for each one of these women, there are hundreds of thousands of us who can help.

 Full article:

Islam's Way to End Violence Against Women? Civilized Men

For example, to teach respect for a woman's body, Islam stresses chastity -- but places the primary burden for chastity on men, not women. While clerics and priests today declare that women should "get married" or "dress more modestly" to avoid domestic violence, Prophet Muhammad held a different view. While encouraging marriage and modest dress for both genders, Prophet Muhammad significantly and as a foundation commanded men, "You be chaste yourselves, and women will be chaste." He commanded men to stop obsessing over how women behave and dress, and instead demanded men focus on self-reform and self-improvement. While the Qur'an admonishes women to dress modestly in the footsteps of Mary Mother of Jesus, it instead and first commands men to "cast down your eyes" and "not stare at women lustfully" -- no matter how a woman chooses to dress. A woman is responsible to herself and God to dress and act modestly, while a man is primarily obligated to women, to himself, and to God to treat women with respect and not gawk.

 Most notably, Islam's solution to stop violence against women is not a religious answer -- it is a secular answer. It obliges men to safeguard their chastity, treat women with equality, take ownership over their own behavior, and respect a woman's body and right to self-determination.

Violence against women will stop when men stop committing violence against women. I would like nothing more than my pro bono practice in domestic violence to become obsolete. But as long as we rationalize data to support the preconceived notion that woman are the root cause -- or a cause -- of violence against women, I'll unfortunately have more clients than I can handle.

For the sake of humanity, stop blaming women. In the meantime, I'll raise my two young sons with Prophet Muhammad's example -- that the key to stopping violence against women rests with civilized men and their personal ownership.
Source
 

"He culturally believed he had the right to hit his wife and discipline his wife.�

 I hope he enjoys the dhal in prison! So disgusted....

A Pakistani immigrant beat his wife to death in their Brooklyn home after she made the mistake of cooking him lentils for dinner instead of the hearty meal of goat meat that he craved, according to court papers.

Noor Hussain, 75, was so outraged over the vegetarian fare that he pummeled his wife, Nazar Hussain, 66, with a stick until she was a �bloody mess,� according to prosecutors and court papers.

�Defendant asked [his wife] to cook goat and [his wife] said she made something else,� the court papers indicated as Hussain�s murder trial opened on Wednesday.

�The conversation got louder and [his wife] disrespected defendant by cursing at defendant and saying motherf-?-ker, and . . . defendant took a wooden stick and hit her with it on her arm and mouth.�

Defense attorney Julie Clark admitted Hussain beat his wife � but argued that he is guilty of only manslaughter because he didn�t intend to kill her. In Pakistan, Clark said, beating one�s wife is customary.

�He comes from a culture where he thinks this is appropriate conduct, where he can hit his wife,� Clark said in her opening statements at the Brooklyn Supreme Court bench trial. �He culturally believed he had the right to hit his wife and discipline his wife.�

Prosecutors, however, said Hussain meant for his wife to die.

�His intentions were to kill his wife,� Assistant District Attorney Sabeeha Madni said in court. �This was not a man who was trying to discipline his wife.�

Madni said that Hussain �brutally attacked his wife as she lay in her bed� � leaving deep lacerations on her head, arms and shoulders, and causing her brain to hemorrhage.

He beat her with a stick that the family had found in the street and used to stir their laundry in a washtub, the court papers state.

He then tried to clean up the blood that had splattered onto their bedroom wall before calling his son for help, Madni said.

�I killed her. Hurry up and come over,� Hussain told his son, according to prosecutors.

Madni also said Pakistani women who lived in the same building as the Hussains would testify about the beatings Nazar received at the hands of her husband.

�They have told us about years of abuse they witnessed,� Madni said.

Hussain met his wife in Pakistan and the couple married before moving to Brooklyn, prosecutors said.

The trial continues Thursday before Judge Matthew D�Emic.

Source

The Pakistani servant girl tortured to death

The case of a 10-year-old girl in Pakistan's Punjab province, whose employers confessed to beating her to death last week, has highlighted concerns about child rights. The BBC's Saba Eitizaz reports on a case that shocked the nation.

Human rights organisations argue that Pakistan's labour laws ignore child abuse in a country where almost half the population is under the age of 18. It is an oversight which often has tragic consequences.

Evidence of that can be found in a small village in the province of Punjab, where a haunting wailing echoes off the crumbling mud walls of a ramshackle home.

It sounds like many mothers crying for lost children.

It is called the "wayne" - the song for the dead and is an integral part of the local funeral ritual.

Tortured

The village is called Moza Jindraakha which means "the place where life is protected".

But things are different now - a young girl's death is being mourned.

Iram Ramzan was sent to Lahore to cook for a middle class family - so her own family could eat. Her two sisters are also employed as domestic helps for different families.

But Iram came back in a white shroud - apparently tortured to death by her employers.

Her mother Zubaida Bibi, who has lost her hand in a threshing accident, faced the prospect of bringing up three young daughters without a husband's financial support.

Zubaida says that she had little option but to send her daughters out to earn money as domestic servants.

She thought they would be safer in more affluent homes rather than on the streets. But she was wrong and has had to go through the torture of burying her youngest child - and now she does not know where to bury her guilt.

"Maybe we should have begged for scraps instead," the inconsolable mother laments. "How was I to know I was sending my daughter to her tormentors?"

Last year Iram's family was telephoned by a distant uncle in Lahore telling them to rush to the hospital.

'An accident'

Doctors said she had died on arrival. There were torture marks on her body and rope burns on her wrists and feet.

Her employers, the Mahmood family had brought her in. The police immediately took the family into custody.

The girl had been beaten to death with an iron pipe, which was later found in the Mahmood's home, along with the ropes used to tie her up.

Nasira Mahmood has confessed to repeatedly beating the child with the pipe while her 16-year-old son stood by and watched.

In jail, Mrs Mahmood is having tea and biscuits. She is almost casual when asked why she did it, saying it was all an accident and that no one expected Iram to die.

"Three times she stole money from me. I got angry, that's all," she says. "She said she was getting sleepy so I tied her up and left to make dinner."

'Indications of beating'

Police investigators say that Iram died slowly, not accidentally and breathed her last while still tied up.

"Right away, they admitted to having tortured her," says Police Superintendent Umar Cheema.

"There were marks of violence, indications of beating, swelling, indicating that the girl was tortured with a heavy instrument which later turned out to be a domestic gas pipe."

Iram's employers were paying her $23 (�14) a month - a small price to pay for her life.

In the same week that Iram died, another 15-year-old domestic maid, Azra, was found strangled to death in her employer's home in Lahore, allegedly the victim of sexual abuse before she was killed.

The Society For the Protection of the Rights of the Child (Sparc) say they receive about 20 cases like Iram and Azra's every year. These are just the cases where a child has died. There are many others featuring assault and abuse, many of which go unreported.

Sparc representative Sajjad Cheema says that whatever legislation for children that does exist is not being implemented because there are no administrative mechanisms in place to regulate child workers.

"The United Nations has sent a recommendation to the Pakistan government to adopt a child protection policy," Mr Cheema says. "We need to know whether we are going to let these children work like this, to die, or are we going to protect them, and how will we do it?"

Human rights groups say more than 12 million children are pushed onto the streets and the homes of strangers to seek an income.

Without a legal safety net, these children are slipping through the cracks with no one to catch them.

Meanwhile, in the village of Moza Jindraakha, a child-sized mound of earth marks Iram's resting place.

Right next to the graveyard, is a green and yellow field where she used to play with the other children - before her childhood and her life was cut short by a combination of cruelty, official indifference and poverty.

Source

When domestic violence strikes in Saudi Arabia

  

When women are considered simplyfitnah-full temptresses and seductresses in need of being controlled not actually feeling human beings. :(

When commenting on a piece of news stating that young harassers have been detained in Saudi Arabia, an official said the relevant authorities will investigate harassment cases and will not rush at making judgments because sometimes girls are to blame for being harassed.

According to him, nail polish can seduce men and can be interpreted as a call to be harassed; therefore any girl who exposes her eyes or face or wears her abaya in an unusual style or goes out with her colleagues to have lunch near her workplace - like what happened with the Khobar girls - must blame themselves for being harassed by men. This understanding of violence was confirmed by a statement made by head of the court of appeal as he said that women leaving their homes to go to the market or to work is one of the reasons behind abusing her. But this does not mean that women who stay home will be safe from abuse.

The Protection from Abuse department confirmed in a statement that it cannot respond to the requests made by women abused in their homes after 10:00 p.m. Meaning, even women who stay home are not safe from abuse. If women are abused at home after 10 p.m., the social affairs ministry cannot protect them and cannot force men who abuse their wives or children from abstaining to resort to violence after 10 p.m.

Following all these �official� statements, we understand that violence against women is justified according to men�s mood. So if a man runs into a girl whose nails are polished or who�s wearing eye make-up, he�s the one to decide whether she deserves to be abused or not?

Timing is also important when it comes to this issue as the situation is different between women who leave their houses in the evening and women who leave their houses in the morning. But there are even different opinions regarding this. For example, if a girl goes out with her friends to the mall for lunch and men happened to pass by, then the girls deserve to be abused. But according to the head of the court of appeal, leaving the house in the first place justifies abuse against women. For some policemen, if a man abuses his wife, then he�s disciplining her.

The paradox which always crosses my mind is this. When a wife reports her husband to the police because he beat her up, the police tells her it�s a family problem and not a legal one. But if she goes to her brother for help and if the latter beats up her husband, the police intervenes and considers the incident as a felony.

In other words, when two men fight, regardless of kinship, it�s considered a harmful act banned by law. But if this violent act is practiced against a woman, the issue becomes as philosophical as that of what came first, the chicken or the egg. Don�t be surprised that a girl is also held responsible if she�s raped.

Full article:

Removing the Silence on Domestic Violence