Sahabah Series: Aisha bint Abi Bakr (RA) - Shaykh Akram Nadwi

7 Remarkable Things About Khadija, Wife of the Prophet of Islam

I often get into debates with people about women in Islam. How we dress. How we don't dress. What we think or don't think or should-be-thinking. I get into debates about feminism. What it is and what it isn't. I think I've spawned permanent foes because I don't care to apply the label, feminist, to describe myself. (I'm not one for labels, sorry. But if it's even required of me, "Muslim woman" suits me just fine.) But if we could agree for a moment that there exists a pure definition of the word feminist to mean: awesomely fierce to the millionth degree, then I'd like to introduce you to Islam's first feminist.

Her name is Khadijah bint Khuwaylid. She was the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him.) And she is one of the people that I think about when I face or debate issues surrounding women today. Khadija's existence precedes mine by more than 1,400 years; and, if I can at the very least, continuously strive to emulate her character, I will consider myself a success in life.

7 things you might not know about the awesomely fierce, Khadija (may God be pleased with her):

1. She was a successful and esteemed business woman.

I would give anything to do an on-the-job, ride-along with Khadija. Gladly swipe my car for a camel- my laptop for a government-issued glass weight to measure goods in trade. What could I learn in one day of shadowing this highly-respected business leader, trading furniture, pottery and silks? Khadija was born to a father who was a successful merchant in their Quraysh tribe of Mecca. She inherited her father's skills in a time in history where society was male-dominated and dangerous. Upon her father's death, she took over the business and traded goods through the primary commerce centers at that time, from Mecca to Syria and to Yemen, hiring the most trustworthy men of character to brave the dangerous trade routes. Her business was larger than all of the Quraysh trades combined and the most acclaimed with a reputation of fair-dealing and high-quality goods. She had a keen eye and was highly intuitive, earning the monikers, Ameerat-Quraysh ("Princess of Quraysh") and al-Tahira ("The Pure One") due to her stellar reputation. Khadija knew what she was doing business-wise, never compromising her modesty or integrity to succeed in the male-dominated trades- hiring only those that could meet these standards. Glass ceiling? Hah! 1,400 years ago, yes, Khadija shattered it.

2. She turned down many marriage proposals.

Being the most successful woman around, rich in worldly attainment as well as character, it seems Khadija faced a consistent campaign of men seeking her hand in marriage. She was married twice before her wedlock to the Prophet; both of these marriages produced children and both left her widowed. Her keen sense of character left her picky; and, she was less than eager to suffer another painful loss of a husband. She resigned herself to being a widowed woman taking care of herself and her family. Until ...

3. She asked the Prophet to marry her.

Love comes when you aren't looking, or so I have heard. (And experienced.) Khadija learned of the stellar character of Muhammad as well as his experience managing caravans on the trade routes accompanying his uncle, Abu Talib. She hired him into her conglomerate. Marriages at this time were typically necessary for survival and not always about love as we know it in today's world. Khadija didn't need a husband to take care of her financially. And Muhammad did not have the means to seek a wife. She fell in love with him, and through a friend, asked him to marry her. (He said yes.)

4. She was 15 years older than Muhammad.

If Khadija's story hasn't broken stereotypes about Islam yet, it might intrigue you to know that she was 40 years old when she married Muhammad. He was 25.

5. She was an ideal wife; theirs was a true love story.

"Your wives are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them." (Qur'an 2:187)

Taking multiple wives was a common practice, yet Khadija and Muhammad's marriage was monogamous until her death 25 years later. Muhammad's prophethood began during his marriage to Khadija, when he received the first of God's revelations through the Angel Gabriel that left him frightened, strained and feeling alone when no one believed in him. Khadija comforted her husband and encouraged him during the most difficult days of his life. She bore him 6 children. He loved no one more than Khadija during his lifetime.

6. She was the first Muslim.

Khadija, the mother of Islam, was the first person on earth to accept Muhammad as the final prophet of God and accept the revelations that culminated into the Holy Qur'an. She was greeted with "Salam" (peace) by God himself as well as the Angel Gabriel. She bequeathed her worldly goods and put herself in the face of danger to stand by the Prophet Muhammad as Islam became established in the land.

7. She spent her worldly riches on the poor.

In Islam, whether rich or poor, one's financial condition is a test. Khadija gave her earnings to the poor and to the orphans, to the widows and the sick. She helped poor girls get married and provided their dowry.

Khadija was one of history's most remarkable women. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once said that the four greatest women of mankind were: Khadija bint Khuwaylid, Fatima bint Muhammad (his youngest daughter,) Mary bint Emran (the Virgin Mary) and Asiya bint Muzahim (the wife of Pharaoh.) Khadija continues to inspire people to this day who revere her for taking great care of the Prophet of Islam and for showing the world, through her behavior, what a pious, modest and courageous woman can accomplish. The example she left for mankind remains timeless.

Source

On Aisha�s age at the time of marriage

I think too much emphasis is put on Aisha�s age (ra) at the time of her marriage and/or consummation to Muhammad (saaws).

There are two issues at play here: The issues with the narrations that say Aisha (ra) was nine when her marriage with Nabi Muhammad (saaws) was consummated, and the issue with placing modern, �first world� values on illiterate societies.

The issues with the ahadith

First, let�s look at the issues with the hadiths saying Aisha (ra) was nine when her marriage was consummated. I am not going to reinvent the wheel in regards to this topic. Instead, here is an excerpt from someone else�s research:

• Most of these narratives [saying Aisha (ra) was married at 6 and her marriage was consummated at 9] are reported only by Hisham ibn `urwah reporting on the authority of his father. An event as well known as the one being reported, should logically have been reported by more people than just one, two or three.

• It is quite strange that no one from Medinah, where Hisham ibn `urwah lived the first seventy one years of his life has narrated the event, even though in Medinahhis pupils included people as well known as Malik ibn Anas. All the narratives of this event have been reported by narrators from Iraq, where Hisham is reported to have had shifted after living in Medinah for seventy one years.

• Tehzibu�l-tehzib, one of the most well known books on the life and reliability of the narrators of the traditions of the Prophet (pbuh) reports that according toYaqub ibn Shaibah: �narratives reported by Hisham are reliable except those that are reported through the people of Iraq�. It further states that Malik ibn Anasobjected on those narratives of Hisham which were reported through people of Iraq. (vol 11, pg 48 � 51)

• Mizanu�l-ai`tidal, another book on the narrators of the traditions of the Prophet (pbuh) reports that when he was old, Hisham�s memory suffered quite badly. (vol 4, pg 301 � 302)

• According to the generally accepted tradition, Ayesha (ra) was born about eight years before Hijrah. But according to another narrative in Bukhari (kitabu�l-tafseer) Ayesha (ra) is reported to have said that at the time Surah Al-Qamar, the 54th chapter of the Qur�an, was revealed, �I was a young girl�. The 54th surah of the Qur�an was revealed nine years before Hijrah. According to this tradition, Ayesha (ra) had not only been born before the revelation of the referred surah, but was actually a young girl (jariyah), not an infant (sibyah) at that time. Obviously, if this narrative is held to be true, it is in clear contradiction with the narratives reported by Hisham ibn `urwah. I see absolutely no reason that after the comments of the experts on the narratives of Hisham ibn `urwah, why we should not accept this narrative to be more accurate.

• According to a number of narratives, Ayesha (ra) accompanied the Muslims in the battle of Badr and Uhud. Furthermore, it is also reported in books of hadithand history that no one under the age of 15 years was allowed to take part in the battle of Uhud. All the boys below 15 years of age were sent back. Ayesha�s (ra) participation in the battle of Badr and Uhud clearly indicate that she was not nine or ten years old at that time. After all, women used to accompany men to the battle fields to help them, not to be a burden on them.

• According to almost all the historians Asma (ra), the elder sister of Ayesha (ra) was ten years older than Ayesha (ra). It is reported in Taqri�bu�l-tehzi�b as well asAl-bidayah wa�l-nihayah that Asma (ra) died in 73 hijrah when she was 100 years old. Now, obviously if Asma (ra) was 100 years old in 73 hijrah she should have been 27 or 28 years old at the time of hijrah. If Asma (ra) was 27 or 28 years old at the time of hijrah, Ayesha (ra) should have been 17 or 18 years old at that time. Thus, Ayesha (ra), if she got married in 1 AH (after hijrah) or 2 AH, was between 18 to 20 years old at the time of her marriage.

Placing modern, �first world� values on illiterate societies

We need to understand that illiterate societies are different from literate societies when it comes to the age of maturity. To prove my point, let�s go to a quote about Europe in the throes of the Dark Ages (a largely illiterate period of time) and see what they thought of children, since Europe is the gold standard for Western beliefs:

In an oral [illiterate] world there is not much of a concept of an adult and, therefore, even less of a child. And that is why, in all the sources, one finds that in the Middle Ages childhood ended at seven. Why seven? Because that is the age at which children have command over speech. They can say and understand what adults can say and understand. They are able to know all the secrets of the tongue, which are the only secrets they need to know. And this helps us to explain why, until the seventeenth century, the words used to denote young males could refer to men of thirty, forty, or fifty, for there was no word � in French, German, or English � for a young male between the ages of seven and sixteen. The word child expressed kinship, not age. But most of all, the oralism [illiteracy] of the Middle Ages helps us to explain why there were no primary schools. For where biology determines communication competence, there is no need for such schools.

(Above quote from The Disappearance of Childhood by Neil Postman.)

So you see, Aisha�s age (if we accept the hadiths with the younger ages) at the time of marriage and consummation only applies to illiterate societies. Once the determination for adulthood becomes command of the written word over the command of the spoken word, childhood appears. Concepts of pedophilia appear, because the age in which adults need to protect children from the secrets of the adult world extends much further, from seven to, say, seventeen.

Furthermore, to the Evangelical Atheists out there I ask: What part of the theory of evolution and modern primatology states that one must be 18 (or 16 or 21) in order to have children? What evolutionary advantage is there, over the millenia of human existence, in waiting for humans to reach an arbitrary solar year age-wise? The answer is there is no such understanding. Obviously waiting for a woman to reach a certain biological maturity is better for her (and for her child), but biological maturity does not equate with a solar (or lunar) year of age. Case in point � my cousin was menstruating at 8 and was very mature by the age of 14. I, however, did not start menstruating until I was 14 and I was not biologically mature until I was well into my 16th year.

In fact, does it disturb anyone else out there that it is acceptable for a girl of 15-17 years of age to experiment sexually and engage in consensual relationships with her peers, yet it is not acceptable in most states for her to get married? I don�t get this at all. If the individuals we define in American society as children are expected and urged into sexual relations and think about sexual orientation and identity, why is it wrong for them to also get married? Certainly, if they are physically and emotionally mature enough to have sex wouldn�t that make them also physically and emotionally mature enough to get married?

Beyond this debate and regardless of which hadith you accept in regards to Aisha�s (ra) age, that�s why most Muslims don�t marry off their daughters as soon as they have their first period (or encourage them into sexual experimentation)- because it doesn�t make sense in a literate society to do so! A child who is menstruating and has command over the spoken word is not a fully functioning part of literate society, but she is a fully functioning part of illiterate society. In fact, Islam�s revelation in and of itself actually started the liberation of women from the perils of illiterate society because its copious texts and requirements that women be educated changed the way Muslim societies viewed childhood and women themselves. The fact that Western �liberators� outright ignore the protection Islam gives women and instead focus on a marriage that was not even a scandal at the time merely shows that they are not interested in understanding, and without understanding there can be no liberation.

source

The Daughters of the PROPHET MOHAMMAD (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)

 

1 -  Hadhrat Zainab (Radhiyallaho anha):
She was the eldest daughter of the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   and was born in the fifth year of his first marriage, when he was thirty. She embraced Islam and was cousin married to her cousin Abul Aas bin Rabi. The story of her emigration to Madinah and her getting wounded by the Qureysh has already been given in the early part of this chapter. She suffered long from that wound, and at last died of in the beginning of 8 A. H, Her husband also embraced Islam later and joined her in Madinah. She had a son Ali (Radhiyallaho anho), and a daughter Amamah. Ali died during the lifetime of the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) . This same Ali (Radhiyallaho anho) was the person who sat with the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   on the camels back at the time of his triumphal entry into Mecca. We read frequently in Hadith about a little girl riding on the back of the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   as he prostrated in Salaat; this was Amamah, Zainab�s (Radhiyallaho anha) daughter. Amamah lived long after the death of the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) . Ali (Radhiyallaho anho) married her on the death of Fatima (Radhiyallaho anha) -his first wife. It is said that Fatima (Radhiyallaho anha) at the time of her death had expressed a desire for this union. She had no issue from Ali (Radhiyallaho anho). After Hadhrat Ali 's (Radhiyallaho anho) death she was again married to Hadhrat Mughirah bin Naful (Radhiyallaho anho), from whom she probably got one son named Yahya. She died in 50 A. H.

2 - Hadhrat Ruqayyah (Radhiyallaho anha):
She was born three years after the birth of Hadhrat Zainab (Radhiyallaho anha) when the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   was 33. She was married to Utbah, son of Abu Lahab, the Prophet Mohammad's (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   uncle, but had not yet started living with him when Soorah Al-Lahab was revealed. Abu Lahab called his sons Utbah and Utaibah (to whom Umme Kulsum, another daughter of the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   was married, and said to them:   �Unless you both divorce the daughters of Muhammed, I am not going to see your faces.�

They divorced their wives. Later, upon the fall of Mecca, Utbah embraced Islam. Hadhrat Ruqayyah (Radhiyallaho anha) after this divorce was married to Hadhrat Usman (Radhiyallaho anho). The couple emigrated to Abyssinia twice.

Since the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   had anounced to the Sahabah that he was expecting to recieve Allah's command for emigration to Madinah any time, they started shifting to Madinah even before the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) Hijrat. Hadhrat Usman (Radhiyallaho anho) and Hadhrat Ruqayyah (Radhiyallaho anha) had also emigrated to Madinah before the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   arrived in the town. At the time of Badr, Hadhrat Ruqayyah (Radhiyallaho anha) was ill (she died subsequently of this illness). Usman (Radhiyallaho anho) was, therefore, asked by the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   to stay in Madinah and look after her. The news about the victory in Badr was received in Madinah when people were returning from Ruqayyah�s (Radhiyallaho anha) funeral. The Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   was, therefore, not present at her burial. A son was born to Hadhrat Ruqayyah (Radhiyallaho anha) in Abyssinia. He was named Abdullah and survived his mother, but died in 4 A. H. when he was six years old.

3 - Hadhrat Umme Kulsum (Radhiyallaho anha):
She is the third daughter of the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) . She was married to Utaibah son of Abu Lahab, but had not yet started living with him when Utaibah divorced her after the revelation of Soorah Al-Lahab, as has already been mentioned. After divorcing her, Utaibah came to the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   and used most insolent words to him. The Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   cursed him by praying: �O, Allah! depute one of Thy dogs to punish him."

Abu Talib, who had also not embraced Islam, was alarmed at the curse and said to Utaibah: �You have no way out now." Once Utaibah was accompanying Abu Lahab in a caravan going to Syria. Abu Lahab, in spite of his disbelief, said to the people: �I am afraid of Muhammad's curse. Everybody should be very careful of my son."

They happened to camp at a place which was inhabited by lions. The people piled up all their luggage and Utaibah was made to sleep on top of the pile, while the rest of the people slept around the pile. A lion came at night; it smelt all the people sleeping round the pile. Then it jumped over the people and reached Utaibah. He gave out a shriek, but meanwhile the lion had severed his head from his body. It is very necessary that we avoid offending the people dear to Allah. The Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   has reported Allah as saying: �I give challenge of war to one who offends My friends.�

After the death of Hadhrat Ruqayyah (Radhiyallaho anha), Hadhrat Umme Kulsum (Radhiyallaho anha) was also married to Hadhrat 'Usman (Radhiyallaho anho) in Rabi-ul-Awwal, 3 A.H. The Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) said: �I have given Umme Kulsum in marriage to Usman by command."

She died issueless in Shaaban, 9 A. H. After her death, the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)  is reported to have remarked: �Even if I had one hundred daughters, I would have given all of them in marriage to 'Usman (one after the other), if each one had died."

4 - Hadhrat Fatimah (Radhiyallaho anha):
Hadhrat Fatimah (Radhiyallaho anha) the fourth and the youngest daughter of the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) , and the "head of the ladies in Paradise" was born in the 1st year of Nubuwwat, when he was 41. It is said that the name Fatimah (lit: safe from fire) was revealed by Allah. She was married to Ali (Radhiyallaho anho) in 2 A.H. and she began to live with him seven and a half months later. She was about fifteen and Ali was 21 at the time of their union. Of all the daughters, she was the most loved by the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) ; whenever he went out on a journey, she was the last one to part and when he returned home she was the first one to meet him. When Ali (Radhiyallaho anho) intended to marry Abu Jahal's daughter, she was very much grieved and expressed her grief to the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) . The Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   said to Hadhrat Ali (Radhiyallaho anho): "Fatimah is a part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me."

Ali (Radhiyallaho anho) gave up the idea of the second marriage during her life time. After her death, he married her niece Amamah (Radhiyallaho anha). It was about six months after the death of the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   that Hadhrat Fatimah (Radhiyallaho anha) fell ill. One day she said to her maid:  "I want to take a bath. Arrange some water for me."

She took a bath and changed her clothes. She then desired her bed to be placed in the middle of the room. She laid herself down on the bedding, with her face towards Qiblah and her right hand under her right cheek, and said:

"I am now going to die."

The next moment she was no more. The Prophet Mohammad's (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam)   progeny continued and shall continue (inshallah) through her children. She had three sons and three daughters. Hadhrat Hasan (Radhiyallaho anho) and Hadhrat Hussain (Radhiyallaho anho) were born in the second and the third year after the marriage, respectively. Hadhrat Muhassan (Radhiyallaho anho), the third son, was born in 4 A.H., but died in childhood.

Ruqayyah, her first daughter, died in infancy and has therefore, not been mentioned much in history. Her second daughter Umme Kulsum was first married to Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho anho), begetting one son Zaid and one daughter Hadhrat Ruqayyah (Radhiyallaho anha). On Hadhrat Umar�s (Radhiyallaho anho) death, Hadhrat Umme Kulsum (Radhiyallaho anha) was married to Aun bin Ja�far (Radhiyallaho anho), but had no issue from him. After his death, his brother Muhammad bin Ja�far (Radhiyallaho anho) married her. A daughter was born to them, who died in childhood. Even Muhammad (Radhiyallaho anho) died in her lifetime and she was again married to the third brother, Abdullah bin Ja�far (Radhiyallaho anho), from whom she had no issue. She died as Abdullah�s (Radhiyallaho anho) wife. Her son Zaid also died the same day, and both were carried for burial at the same time. Abdullah, �Aun and Muhammad (Radhiyallaho anho)  have already been mentioned as sons of Ja�far (Radhiyallaho anho) and nephews of Ali (Radhiyallaho anho).

Zainab, hadhrat Fatima�s (Radhiyallaho anha) third daughter, was married to Abdullah bin Ja�far and had two sons Abdullah and Aun from him. It was after her death that he married her sister Hadhrat Umme Kulsum (Radhiyallaho anha). Hadhrat Ali (Radhiyallaho anho) had many other childrem from his wives after Fatimah (Radhiyallaho anha). It is stated that he had as many as thirty-two issues. Hasan (Radhiyallaho anho) had fifteen sons and eight daughters, while Husain (Radhiyallaho anho) was the father of six sons and three daughters. 

Source.