Love- Tariq Ramadan

The Hadith of Jabir

Jabir b. Abdillah is one of the most famous Companions of the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam. He was from the Ansar, and accepted Islam as a young boy. His father was the famous warrior Abdullah b. Haram. Jabir was perhaps the youngest Companion to witness and participate in the blessed 'Treaty of Aqaba,' before the hijra of the Prophet. He was also blessed to live an extremely long life. Because of this, Jabir became one of the most profuse narrators of hadith, earning his name in the top five Companions in terms of quantity of hadith narrated.

Jabir married young � he was probably seventeen or eighteen when he got married. His story is mentioned in most books of hadith, including the two Sahihs. It is a story that tells us much about how Islam views sexuality.

The hadith is as follows:

Jabir b. Abdillah reported that once he was on an expedition with the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam, and when they were close to the city of Madinah, he sped on his mount. The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam asked him why he was in such a hurry to return home. Jabir replied, �I am recently married!� The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam asked, �To an older lady or a younger one?� [the Arabic could also read: �To a widow or a virgin?�], to which he replied, �A widow.�

The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam said, �But why didn't you marry a younger girl, so that you could play with her, and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh, and she could make you laugh?�

He said, �O Messenger of Allah! My father died  a martyr at Uhud, leaving behind daughters, so I did not wish to marry a young girl like them, but rather an older one who could take care of them and look after them.� The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa salam replied, �You have made the correct choice.�

Jabir continues, �So when we were about to enter the city, the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam said to me, 'Slow down, and enter at night, so that she who has not combed may comb her hair, and she who has not shaved may shave her private area.' Then he said to me, 'When you enter upon her, then be wise and gentle.'�

[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim, with various wordings, in their two Sahihs]

This is only part of a much larger hadith, known as (not surprisingly!) the 'hadith of Jabir'. It is a hadith full of benefits, and in fact separate treatises have been written by our scholars just on this one hadith. In this article, we are concerned with how this hadith sheds light on intimacy and marriage in Islam.

What first strikes us is the frankness of the Prophet's salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam question. He is encouraging Jabir to find a playful wife, and wants the both of them to enjoy each other. Clearly, the words of 'playfulness' and 'laughter' indicate that what is being encouraged is the couple's romance, foreplay and, generally, 'having fun' with one another.

This shows that it is one of the primary goals of a marriage that each party find satisfaction in the other. The connotation of being sexually playful is clearly implied, without any direct reference. From this, and many other references, we see that the Qur'an and Sunnah are frank about sexuality, but never vulgar. This should be our attitude and tone as well. It would do us well to contrast this straightforwardness of our Prophet with the ultra-reserved Muslim culture that we find around us, where even the words 'love' and 'romance' are considered filthy and are never be uttered in public!

Also, the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam explicitly mentioned that both parties should be satisfied with each other ('�so that you may play with her and she may play with you�'). In most Muslim cultures, women's sexuality is sidelined or even suppressed. Not only is a woman's sexual feelings ignored, some cultures even cut off a part of a woman's sexual organ in order to minimize her sexuality (through barbaric practices such as FGM � female genital mutilation). Women's sexuality is no less important than men's, and it is essential that a woman also be given her due right.

One phrase in this hadith that many men concentrate on is the encouragement to Jabir that he should marry a young woman. However, they ignore the context of the hadith and also the response of the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam. Jabir himself was a young man, and that is why he was asked why he would marry an older lady. Typically, a young man marries a young lady. When Jabir gave a legitimate reason for choosing an older lady, he was informed that he had, in fact, made the correct decision. One should always remember that even our Prophet first married Khadija, a lady senior to him in age, and remained with her for all of her life. Khadija was the most beloved wife of our Prophet, and even Aisha could not compete against that love.

The command to Jabir not to enter the city until nightfall was because the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam did not want Jabir to surprise his wife. At a time when there were no cell phones or other means of informing the family when a traveler would return, the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam would send a crier into the city, announcing that the caravan was returning. Hence, he told Jabir to wait for this crier before proceeding into the city. The crier would alert the inhabitants of the city (including Jabir's wife), and they would then prepare themselves to great the returning travelers.

From this, we learn that spouses should physically beautify themselves for one another. Combing the hair is but one way to beautify; anything that increases the beauty and handsomeness of one spouse in front of the other is something to be encouraged. The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam told the impatient Jabir that it was better for him to delay his arrival in order that his wife could prepare herself for him.

The explicit command to shave the pubic area is an amazing phrase! We all know that a part of our Islamic tradition is that one must shave one's pubic area; in this tradition, this command is put in the context of the sexual act. In other words, the husband is told to be patient so that his wife may beautify her private area in order to increase the aesthetic pleasure and gratification of sex. A husband and wife should make sure that even around their private areas, they look attractive to each other! Again and again, we see the frankness of the prophetic traditions and contrast this to the ultra-conservative attitudes predominant in many Muslim cultures.

Some people erroneously believe that a husband and wife should never look at each other's private area. This belief is not based upon any authentic textual evidence � in fact, there are numerous evidences (including this one) that clearly state otherwise. If a husband will not enjoy the body of his wife, who else will he enjoy?! And the same applies for a woman with her husband's body.

The last phrase of the hadith is translated as '�then be wise and gentle'. The Arabic is 'fa-l-kayyis al-kayyis', or, in another wording, 'zafar al-kayyis.' The word 'kayyis' primarily means wisdom, but it also has the connotation of gentleness. Scholars have understood this phrase to be an indirect reference that Jabir should approach his wife in a gentle and 'wise' manner.

Imam Bukhari, Ibn Khuzaymah, and Ibn Hibban all narrated this wording, and they all understood the reference here to be an indirect reference to the sexual act. Once again, the wording is frank without being vulgar. What is meant by 'al-kayyis' is that Jabir should act in a wise manner; he has been gone for some time, and is newly married. Therefore, both parties are missing each other, and it is a sign of wisdom that they gratify themselves and do not delay this unnecessarily. Also, there is a connotation of gentleness as well; Jabir should realize that he is a young man, and therefore he should not act in a manner that might be painful to his wife.

The fact that the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam is instructing Jabir what to do at this time shows that he instructed his Ummah even about such personal matters. In one hadith, which deals with the etiquette of the restroom, the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam said, �I am to you like a father, I teach you [what you need to know]�� [Reported by Abu Dawud]. Since Jabir did not have any older brothers, and his father had passed away, the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam took on this responsibility, and even advised him about sexual conduct. From this, we may extrapolate that people of knowledge, or elders of the community, should likewise not be shy when it comes to teaching Muslims about sexual etiquette.

The Islamic attitude towards sex is completely at odds with those of many Christian thinkers. St. Augustine, who is perhaps the single most influential theologian of early Christianity, viewed sexual desire as something 'foul' to be guilty and ashamed of. His writings had a profound impact on all future Christian notions of sex (and were also used to justify the prohibition of priests getting married). That is why, to this day, even many non-religious Christians are baffled by Islam's attitude towards sex. It is mainly due to such notions that Islam has been viewed by many Westerners as being a 'licentious' religion. Such hadiths like this one of Jabir are mocked and ridiculed (one website I read commented, �How can a prophet of God command his followers to enjoy their wives?�). This shock stems from the basic Augustinian notion of sex being inherently evil. We must be aware of these psychological underpinnings when discussing Islam with others. For us as Muslims, sexual desire in and of itself is neverassociated with evil; it is only the misuse and abuse of such desire that is evil. Rather, quite the contrary, sex is quite clearly implied in the Qur'an as being a blessing from Allah, to be thoroughly enjoyed between spouses.

There are many evidence that clearly demonstrate Islam's realistic and pragmatic view of human sexuality. Sexuality, like all human emotions, is a natural instinct that should be satisfied in a permissible manner. The emotion itself is not evil or filthy; abusing it and trying to satisfy it outside of the permissible bounds of marriage is evil and filthy.

The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam himself said, �From this world, women and perfume have been made beloved to me, but the coolness of my eye comes from prayer� [Bukhari]. And in the famous hadith, �This whole world is an enjoyment, and its best enjoyment is a righteous wife� [Muslim].

A righteous wife (and, by analogy, a good husband) is the best enjoyment of this world. Pure, halal, encouraged enjoyment! Even the blessed Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam found comfort in his wives, but the comfort that prayer and turning to Allah gave him was obviously the most sweet and pure.

In another tradition, we are advised �If one of you approaches his wife, and then wishes to repeat, let him do wudhu, for it will make the recurrence more energetic� [Abu Dawud].

In all of these hadiths, we see once again the clear encouragement to engage in passionate and fulfilling sex with one's spouse. The frank advice given makes it crystal clear that we should aim to have healthy sex lives. No less a figure than our beloved Prophet informed us of ways to increase our love and make the act of intimacy more fulfilling. Washing oneself after a first act invigorates the body and rejuvenates the soul, and thus helps in repeating the act again.

What is truly amazing is that while the message is crystal clear in each and every one of these traditions, never is the wording vulgar, nor is the language crude. Similarly, we should be frank in our teachings, but there is no need to employ unbefitting language.

Let us conclude this article by mentioning a quote from one of the most famous medieval scholars of our religion. Imam al-Ghazali (d. 505) mentions in his famous work The Revival of the Religious Sciences that scholars have mentioned many blessings of sex, such as protecting one's chastity and increasing one's progeny. But he also mentions a blessing that might surprise many Muslims. One of the blessings of sex that our scholars have mentioned, al-Ghazali says, is to experience some of the pleasures of the afterlife. He continues:

�And I swear, what they have said is absolutely true! For indeed, in this pleasure [of sex] � a pleasure that cannot be compared to any other pleasure �� if only it were to persist, it would indeed be a sign or signal for those pleasures of the next life that have been promised to us. To entice someone regarding a pleasure that he has never experienced is of no use! If an impotent man were to be enticed with sex, or a young child with power, there would be no temptation. Therefore, one of the blessings of the sexual experience and pleasure in this world is the hope of its perpetual existence in the next, so that this can be used as a motivation for the worship of Allah.

Marvel, therefore, at the wisdom of Allah, and His Mercy, for look at how He has placed in one desire two lives: an external life, and an internal life. So the external life is the preservation of a man through his progeny and children. And the internal life is the life of the next world. For the pleasure of sex is diminished in this world because it must remain temporary, and is swiftly terminated, but by experiencing it, one's desire to have such a pleasure remain everlasting becomes firm, and this encourages one to persist in deeds of worship that would allow him to experience such pleasures.�

What an amazing testament, regarding an amazing blessing, from an amazing scholar!

Source

Our Families: Coolness of Our Eyes | Nouman Ali Khan

The Love of the Prophet (PBUH) - Imam Suhaib Webb

All About Love with Yaser Birjas - Allah is the Most Affectionate

Eid ul Adha 2014 Khutbah: Give in this World, Gain the Pleasure of your Lord- Khalid Latif

The Prophet�s Compassion for Children

 

Children are a great blessing from Allah. With their tender hearts, children can be molded into righteous people only with a positive and tender approach. Islam considers children to be an amanah (trust) given to the family and says it is fard(obligatory) for the family to raise a child in a righteous manner. One should not favor one child over another. In Islam, both male and female children should be treated equally and should be loved and cherished. The children have certain rights over their parents; it is the family�s obligation to shelter, feed, clothe, educate, support, nurture, and love them.

In today�s world many parents are so immersed in worldly life that they forget to pay attention to their children. Many parents think that providing financial support for their child is enough. The fact is, financial support alone doesn�t fulfill a parent�s duty towards their child. One can only win a child�s heart through love and a gentle attitude. It is the child�s right to be loved and cherished.

I remember that, as a child, I yearned for the attention of my family, but being in a joint family�my family and my uncle�s family lived together and a few other cousins stayed with us as their parents were working abroad�did not give me the opportunity to experience the kind of attention I expected. My parents felt that they should not express their love for their children in front of others, as people might think they were favoring us. As a child (and even now), I heard people saying �We need not to express our love to prove that it is there, it is enough to have a loving heart.� But the fact is that only when one expresses love to a child will the child feel more confident and stronger. Children have the capacity to easily distinguish when there is a difference in the attitude of the adults. Whether an adult shows or does not show love will have a significant impact on a child. Hence, we adults have to be conscious with our behavior in the child�s presence and be constantly aware of the emotions we project to our children.

Nowadays, we see people have become hardhearted so that their attitude towards children is unpleasant. There are some who show much partiality toward one gender, and there are some who don�t treat others� children with the same kindness or affection which they show to their own children. It is common to see even people who claim that they act on the Qur�an and Sunnah showing less interest in playing with their children or giving them the due attention or expression of love.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is the model for the whole of humankind. His attitude towards children was always compassionate and merciful. Being fond of children, Prophet Muhammad showed great interest in playing with them. His involvement in children�s games shows us the great importance in playing with our children. He would have fun with the children who had come back from Abyssinia and tried to speak in Abyssinian with them. It was his practice to give lifts on his camel to children when he returned from journeys.

Prophet Muhammad never held back his love for the children and always expressed his fondness to them. In one hadith Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated:

I went along with Allah�s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) at a time during the day but he did not talk to me and I did not talk to him until he reached the market of Banu Qainuqa`. He came back to the tent of Fatimah and said, �Is the little chap (meaning Al-Hasan) there?� We were under the impression that his mother had detained him in order to bathe him and dress him and garland him with sweet garland. Not much time had passed that he (Al-Hasan) came running until both of them embraced each other, thereupon Allah�s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, �O Allah, I love him; love him and love one who loves him.� (Muslim)

Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), the servant of the Prophet, had another recollection:

I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah�s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)

The Prophet�s love for children was not restricted to his children and grandchildren. The scope of his mercy and affection embraced all children, and he showed the same interest and gentleness to his Companion�s children. The following hadith narrated by Usamah ibn Zaid (may Allah be pleased with him) shows this humane aspect of the Prophet�s personality:

Allah�s Messenger used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan ibn `Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, �O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them.� (Bukhari)

Some people who were not able to understand the power of expressing love to children wondered why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) played with children and took such an interest in them. Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him),

Allah�s Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, �I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.� The Prophet cast a look at him and said, �Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.� (Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet was always concerned about everyone�s thought and feeling. The following hadith narrated by Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) proves his thoughtful character:

The Prophet said, �(It happens that) I start the prayer intending to prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I shorten the prayer because I know that the cries of the child will incite its mother�s passions.� (Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet was always patient and considerate with children and took great pain not to hurt their tender feelings.

Narrated Abu Qatadah: �The Messenger of Allah came towards us while carrying Umamah the daughter of Abi Al-`As (Prophet�s granddaughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and when he stood up he lifted her up.� (Al-Bukhari)

In a another hadith,

Narrated Umm Khalid: I (the daughter of Khalid ibn Said) went to Allah�s Messenger with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah�s Messenger said, �Sanah, Sanah!� (`Abdullah, the narrator, said that sanah meant �good� in the Ethiopian language). I then started playing with the seal of prophethood (between the Prophet�s shoulders) and my father rebuked me harshly for that. Allah�s Messenger said, �Leave her.� The Prophet, then, invoked Allah to grant her a long life thrice. (Al-Bukhari)

In another narration we see the Prophet�s tolerance towards children.

Narrated `A�ishah: The Prophet took a child in his lap � and then the child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine. (Al-Bukhari)

Finally I would like to add another saying of the Prophet that proves that Muslims should be conscious to treat their sons and daughters justly:

�Fear Allah and treat your children [small or grown] fairly (with equal justice).� (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Source

Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan - "The Jahaliyyah of Matrimonials

The path of love....

On the path of Love we are neither masters nor the owners of our lives. We are only a brush in the hand of the Master Painter.
~Rumi

The writing on the wall...

The writing on the wall? Apparently it�s a verse from the Quran, �And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [30:21]

Loving the Prophet is the essence of Islam

Wonderful blog post from Dr Musharraf Hussain:

The Persian poet Saadi Shirazi sang a eulogy of the Prophet: �Thousand times was I to wash my mouth with rose water it would still be insolence to utter your beautiful name.�

The Quran describes the Prophet Muhammad�s (peace be upon him) beautiful, loving, compassionate and caring character in these glowing words: �He is ever yearning for your welfare and very compassionate and beneficent towards the believers�. He loves us and Muslims in return love him too. Loving is this intense feeling of affection, fondness, delight and admiration for the most magnificent person who ever lived in human history. History has produced many great leaders who have left their marks on different walks of human life. There have been great philosophers, scholars, pious saints, conquerors, poets, musicians, inventors and doctors, all these great men have changed the course of human history for better one way or another.

However, the life of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is unique and has certain outstanding features, which set it apart from the rest of the leaders. William Draper in his book �history of the intellectual development of Europe� said �four years after the death of Justinian A.D. 569, was born in Makka the man who of all men exercised the greatest influence upon the human race, Muhammad�. Similarly la Martin in �Histoire de la Turquie� says �philosopher orator, apostle, legislator, conqueror of ideas, restorer of rational dogmas of cult without images, the founder of 20 terrestrial empires and of one spiritual empire that is Muhammad as regards all standards by which human greatness may be measured. We may well ask is there any man greater than him.�

The Quran describes the messenger of God�s (peace be upon him) special role; �There is a beautiful role model for him who wishes and hopes to meet his Lord� (33:21). Therefore the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is really a role model and exemplary person. We recognise the need for role models, children imitate their parents, students copy their teachers and those who yearn for perfection, he is a role model for all in beliefs, behaviour and lifestyle.

Love is an intense feeling of deep affection and fondness for someone. It�s a transitive verb which requires an object, so you love something, you love someone, you delight in them, you admire them and cherish them. Muslim poets have expressed their love for the Prophet (peace be upon him) in various ways.

For a Muslim the Prophet (peace be upon him) is really the centre of his life, of his attention and of his very being. So if you imagine Islam is the name of a body then Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the spirit of that body and if you imagine Islam is a tree then Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the leaves and the fruit of that tree, if Islam is a flower then Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the scent and that beautiful colour. In brief whatever image of Islam you can conjure and imagine, then Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the lifeblood of that. Loving the Prophet (peace be upon him) is really the very essence of believers life and the early Muslims displayed this deep affection and this intense love of the Prophet (peace be upon him) openly. Here is a description of their passion for the Prophet (peace be upon him): Urwa bin Masood Saqafi was the ambassador of the Quraish at the time of the treaty of Hudabiya on his return to Makkah he said to them �I witnessed some amazing scenes, when Muhammad washes himself, his disciples do not let a drop of water fall on the ground, they take it in their hands, whatever he says they obey him, I have visited the courts of the Roman and Persian emperors but nowhere have I seen such scenes of loyalty and dedication to their leader�.

Even the world of kufr knows that in order to defeat and divert the Muslims from their religion. They have to weaken this link with the Prophet (peace be upon him). Iqbal the great poet of Islam reveals this conspiracy of the non-Muslims in this couplet. He said �this starving man who does not fear a bit, take away from him the spirit of Muhammad and give him Western ideals and it will be then it expelled and then you will be able to easily expel Islam from the Muslims�.

In another place Iqbal attributes his own fondness and love of Islam and his deep understanding of the message and the meaning of the religion of Islam to this deep love. He says �the dazzling Western intellect did not impress me at all since my eyes were filled with the dust of Medina and Najaf.� He believed that the love of the Prophet (peace be upon him) was his powerful shield against the influences of the Western culture. He said �the Western culture corrupts the mind and heart because it is no longer chaste and pure and when the salt is no longer pure then it is impossible to have even a clean conscience, lofty ideals good taste.�

So we see that the love of messenger (peace be upon him) is the energy that drives the believers on the straight path, it is the shield, which protects them from the evil influences of a society and the deceptions of his own ego and the snares of satan. Let me give you another example of the disciple�s love for the messenger (peace be upon him). Aisha the mother of believers reported that one day Sauban a disciple came to the messenger (peace be upon him) and he looked quite sad and the messenger (peace be upon him) said �why are you gloomy and sorrowful?� He replied I love you more than myself and my family and whenever I miss you I visit you, but now my anxiety is increasing that in the hereafter when I die you will be in a very lofty place near your Lord, but I don�t know where I will be, this worries me, this thought of being detached from you and not being able to visit you makes me miserable. The Prophet (peace be upon him) on hearing this was very moved and was quiet for a while then this verse was revealed from God: �whoever follows God and his messenger these are the people, whom God has blessed they are the prophets , the truthful, the martyrs and the righteous people. What a wonderful group of friends� (4:69).

Love of the Prophet (peace be upon him) is a basic ingredient of Islam. The Prophet (peace be upon him) himself declared that �none of you can be a believer until I am more dear to you that your parents, children and the rest of humanity�. The love of the Prophet (peace be upon him) has to be more intense, deeper, stronger than love for anything else. In another hadith it is reported that a man once came to the messenger (peace be upon him) and asked �when is the last day coming and the messenger (peace be upon him) asked him �what have you prepared for it?� He said I haven�t prepared a lot but I do love God and his messenger and the Prophet (peace be upon him) replied well if that�s the case then remember a person will be with the one who he loves.� This is why Iqbal very poetically said �the essence of the Quran, the spirit of faith and the secrets of religion all lie in the love of the mercy for universe.�

Another poet eloquently puts this point when he says: �the love of Muhammad is the first requirement of religion if this is lacking then everything is incomplete�. Love is the intense feeling of fondness for someone who has outstanding qualities, he has force field of energy about him which attract others. It is difficult to pin down what love is precisely. However, we can identify two reasons for loving someone; his special quality of attractiveness due to his power or knowledge and secondly a favour that he has done to us making us indebted for the protection and security whether it is financial assistance, when we look at the life of Muhammad (peace be upon him), we see in him the most wonderful qualities of generosity, kindness, compassion and forgiveness. Another immense favour on mankind is delivering mankind from the darkness of ignorance to the light of deen.

Source

#Love

The Prophet Muhammad  ran home to Khadija and said, "Cover me, cover me!" Khadija ( may God be pleased with her) held her frightened husband close in her comforting arms. With her warmth and soothing words, she reassured him that she did not have a doubt he was the blessed by Allah,  (exalted is He). She said to him words that would be recorded in the books of Islamic narrations forever: "By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You uphold the ties of kinship, speak truthfully, help the poor and destitute, serve your guests generously and assist those who are stricken by calamity." (Bukhari, Muslim)

Years after Khadija  passed away, the Prophet  still remembered her love for him, proclaiming that he would always be indebted to her: "She believed in me when people denied me, she trusted me when people belied me; she supported me with her wealth when people refused to support me and I was blessed with children by her when I was denied children by other women." (Ahmad)

Allah  decreed that Khadija  would be from those who supported the Prophet  and the establishment of His religion. They say that behind every successful man there is a supporting woman. Khadija's love and faith in the Prophet  is what gave him strength at the beginning of his message. With her reassurance, the Prophet  went on to fulfill his prophecy. And thus - Islam emerged upon the most beautiful love story of all time. This shows us the place of love in Islam, and the permissibility of its manifestation within marriage.

We all want love. We want the kind of love that, when our world falls apart, we can turn to that 'Khadija-esque' person who will hold us close to ease our mind and heart while we are going through times of despair. We want someone who will never give up on us; who will strive to see us succeed; and who will be willing to make sacrifices to see us happy. However, is what we want what we actually need? - 

See more at: http://www.islamicity.com/Articles/articles.asp?ref=SW1402-5683#sthash.vmGmeQNc.dpuf

The compassion of the Prophet towards those who abused him

Prophet Muhammad started the message of Islam in Arabia at a time when human rights had no meaning, might was right and the society was entrenched in paganism. In this environment Prophet Muhammad  taught a message of justice, peace, human rights, animal rights and even environmental rights as ordained by God, the One True Creator of all that is in the universe.

God has shown us in the character of Prophet Muhammad  the model of a companionate person. He treated every one, friends and foe, man and woman, young and old, with kindness and respect.

Even when the pagan Arabs reacted to the message of the Prophet with extreme hatred he showed love and kindness.

The following examples from the life of the Prophet show us how we should react when faced with hatred.

We can see one of the most patient and tolerant aspects of the Prophet's character in the incident of an old woman who made a habit of throwing trash in the way of the Holy Prophet Muhammad  whenever he passed by her house.

The story related about this incident, mentions a neighbor of the Prophet that tried her best to irritate him by throwing garbage in his way every day. One day, when he walked out of his home there was no garbage. This made the Prophet inquire about the old woman and he came to know that she was sick. The Prophet went to visit her and offer any assistance she might need. The old woman was extremely humbled and at the same time ashamed of her actions in light of the concern that the Prophet showed her.

By seeing the example of compassion of Prophet Muhammad , she became convinced that Islam must be a true religion that the Prophet was preaching. ¹

Another incident that is reported from the life of the Prophet is when the Prophet traveled to a neighboring town of Taif. 

In Taif he thought he might find people who might be respectable to the message of Almighty God. The people of Taif turned out to be as hateful as the people of Makkah. The elders of the town planned an organized campaign to ridicule the Prophet. To escalate their disapproval of the Prophet and prevent him from preaching Islam, they set a group of children and vagabonds behind him. They pestered him and threw stones at him. Tired, forsaken and wounded, he sought refuge in a nearby garden. It belonged to Atabah and Shaibah, two wealthy chiefs of Quraish.

They were both there when Prophet Muhammad  entered and sat under a distant tree. The Prophet raised his face towards heaven and prayed: "O Almighty! I raise unto you my complaint for my weakness, my helplessness, and for the ridicule to which I have been subjected. O Merciful! You are the Master of all oppressed people, You are my God! So to whom would You consign me? To the strangers who would ill-treat me, or to the enemies who have an upper hand over me? If whatever has befallen me is not because of Your wrath, then I fear not. No doubt, the field of Your security and care is wide enough for me. I seek refuge in Your light which illuminates darkness and straightens the affairs of this world and hereafter, that Your displeasure and wrath may not descend upon me. For the sake of Your pleasure, I remain pleased and resigned to my fate. No change in this world occurs without Your Will."

Atabah and Shaibah were watching. They sent for their servant named Adaas and gave him a plate full of grapes. "Take this to that man under the tree," they ordered. So he brought the grapes to Prophet Muhammad .

As the Prophet  picked the grapes he said: "Bismillahir Rahmaanir Rahim" (In the Name of God, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate). Adaas had never heard this before. He was impressed by it, because the Prophet was invoking mercy and compassion of Almighty in spite of all the hardship he was subjected to.

"Who are you?" Adaas asked. Muhammad  replied, "I am the Prophet of God. Where do you come from?"

The servant said: "I am Adaas, a Christian. I come from Nainava."

"Nainava? You come from a place where my brother Yunus bin Mati (Jonah son of Mati) lived," the Prophet  said. 

Adaas was surprised to hear the name.

"What do you know of Yunus? Here no one seems to know him. Even in Nainava there were hardly ten people who knew his father's name."

The Prophet  said: "Yes, I know him because just like me, he was a Prophet of Almighty God."

Adaas fell on his knees before the Prophet , kissed his hand and embraced him.

It is further reported that after the Prophet took refuge from the stone throwing mob, Angel Jibrael came to the Prophet and asked him if he so wished Jibrael would give the command to bury the city between two mountains. Although the prophet  had suffered a great deal at the hands of these people, he replied that he did not wish destruction for the people of Taif because maybe their offspring would proclaim the religion of truth. ²

The Islamic scholar Imam Ghazali (1058 - 1111 C.E.) summarizes the information he collected in the hadith regarding our Prophet's compassionate attitude to all those around him as follows:

"He was far from knowing anger and quickly showed compassion for things. He was the most loving of men toward other people. He was the most auspicious of men and did the most good to others, and the most useful and beneficial to others." ³

The Quran says that Prophet was sent as mercy to humankind. If we are to honor the Prophet , it will be by adopting the sublime character of our Prophet and not through the emotions of anger and hate.

1. Abdul Wahid Hamid, (2004) Islam the Natural Way. UK: Muslim Education and Literary Services.

2. Al-Bukhari and Muslim

3. (Imam Ghazali, Ihya'u Ulumiddin, Vol. 2)

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