Many people are not going to like this post, but this has to be said nevertheless. Shaykh Fazal Elahi had a lecture at Youth Club Lahore today and he explained the manners of clothing. I am going to summarize it and put it up for everyone's benefit in shaa Allah.
MANNERS THAT ARE COMMON BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
1. You should not be extravagant in your clothing.
2. You should not be proud because of it.
Imam Ahmad, Nisai and Ibn e Majah narrated this Hadith that the Prophet PBUH said that eat, drink, and give charity, as long as these three things are free from two things:
a. Extravagance.
b. Pride.
1. Extravagance:
What is Extravagance?
It involves 2 things:
i) Extravagance is that a person spends more than he can bear.
For example, a person can only afford to buy a 1000 rupees suit every 2 months. But his son, his wife or daughter insists on buying a 2000 rupees suit every month.
The buying of this sort where you overburden yourself is Haram in Islam.
ii) You should be moderate.
For example, a person can buy a suit everyday. Does he buy new clothes everyday?
Every person should notice this in his home. Do you have clothes in your wardrobe that the whole season passes but you don't even wear those clothes?
It is Haram for such a person to buy more clothes. This is a blessing from Allah. What will you answer Him on the day of judgement, that O Allah I bought clothes that I didn't even wear? I didn't even need them but I bought them? Be grateful and spend only that you need! This is extravagance and extravagance is Haram in Islam.
2. Pride:
When you start thinking that because of your better clothes, you are superior than others. Or that you look better than someone because of your clothes. Or any such feeling, then know that you are walking on a path of destruction.
3. A person should not wear clothes to deceive people.
What does this mean? Let's look at a Hadith.
A woman came to the Prophet PBUH and said that she tells people that her husband has gifted her with such and such a thing. Whereas in reality her husband has not gifted her those things.
The Prophet PBUH said that whoever shows that which he does not have, then he is wearing 2 clothes of Lie.
My sisters should ponder over this point very carefully. Usually in functions, a woman borrows clothes from her sister, her brother's wife, her husband's sister, her friend. On every function she wears new clothes showing people that she is so rich that she can wear new clothes every time.
The Muhaddiseen (scholars of hadith) interpreted this in two ways:
i) The person is spreading 2 lies. One lie that he's telling others that these are his clothes. Second lie that he's telling people that he is so rich that he can afford such clothes.
ii) This person is wearing 2 clothes of lie, the upper cloth and the lower cloth. Meaning that this person is a liar from head to toe.
A single lie is a very grave sin. How about the person who's spreading 2 lies?
This habit has destroyed many families, and is still destroying them. A woman who has 10 other woman in her family can manage to wear different clothes by borrowing every time and showing off to other people as they are her own clothes.
But what about the woman who is the only woman in family? What would she do? She would curse her husband what else?
4. No man should dress like a woman and no woman should dress like a man.
In a Hadith the Prophet PBUH cursed those men who dress like women and those women who dress like men.
Ponder over this a bit... Muhammad SallAllaahu Alaiyhi Wasallam, who did not curse the people of Taif even when they stoned him. Who prayed for their well being, who was mercy to the worlds is cursing those who resemble the opposite sex? Why is that?
That is because this is a grave matter. When a person dresses like the opposite sex, he or she is actually challenging Allah in His creation. He is saying O Allah you made me a man but I will become a woman. She is saying O Allah you made me a woman but I will become a man (actions speak louder than words).
Some sisters say.. but we only wear jeans below the Abayah. We only wear shirts in front of our husbands, to please them. We're not going out like that.
My sisters, absorb this point and embed it in your mind that these two are SEPARATE SINS.
Not covering yourself is a separate sin.
Dressing like the opposite sex is a separate sin.
The matter is shameful but it is important to say it to make the point clear. A woman can be without clothes in her bedroom, she is not sinning. Similarly she can be without clothes in her bathroom casually. She is not sinning! But if she wears clothes like men even in her room alone, she is still sinning. They are separate sins.
All 4 points above were for men and women both, this last point is for women specifically.
5. No woman should dress in a way that she is naked according to the Prophet PBUH.
The permanent fatwa committee of Saudi Arabia defined 3 such cases where a woman is clothed yet naked according to the Ahadith of the Prophet PBUH.
1. The dress is so thin that you can see the body through it.
2. The dress is so tight that you can tell what parts of the body are fat and what are thin.
3. The dress is incomplete/short.
So there you are folks. No man should point out the woman's mistakes to her in order to ridicule her or make her feel bad. Similarly no woman should do the same to a man. Your matter is with Allah. Let everyone be a judge for himself and clear his matter with Allah. Let us all return to him and let HIM be the judge for us in every matter. Let us use His gift of clothing according to the instructions He gave and not according to the instructions of the Cursed One: Shaitaan.
May Allah guide us all to the straight path and help us in being firm on it. Ameen.
MANNERS THAT ARE COMMON BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
1. You should not be extravagant in your clothing.
2. You should not be proud because of it.
Imam Ahmad, Nisai and Ibn e Majah narrated this Hadith that the Prophet PBUH said that eat, drink, and give charity, as long as these three things are free from two things:
a. Extravagance.
b. Pride.
1. Extravagance:
What is Extravagance?
It involves 2 things:
i) Extravagance is that a person spends more than he can bear.
For example, a person can only afford to buy a 1000 rupees suit every 2 months. But his son, his wife or daughter insists on buying a 2000 rupees suit every month.
The buying of this sort where you overburden yourself is Haram in Islam.
ii) You should be moderate.
For example, a person can buy a suit everyday. Does he buy new clothes everyday?
Every person should notice this in his home. Do you have clothes in your wardrobe that the whole season passes but you don't even wear those clothes?
It is Haram for such a person to buy more clothes. This is a blessing from Allah. What will you answer Him on the day of judgement, that O Allah I bought clothes that I didn't even wear? I didn't even need them but I bought them? Be grateful and spend only that you need! This is extravagance and extravagance is Haram in Islam.
2. Pride:
When you start thinking that because of your better clothes, you are superior than others. Or that you look better than someone because of your clothes. Or any such feeling, then know that you are walking on a path of destruction.
3. A person should not wear clothes to deceive people.
What does this mean? Let's look at a Hadith.
A woman came to the Prophet PBUH and said that she tells people that her husband has gifted her with such and such a thing. Whereas in reality her husband has not gifted her those things.
The Prophet PBUH said that whoever shows that which he does not have, then he is wearing 2 clothes of Lie.
My sisters should ponder over this point very carefully. Usually in functions, a woman borrows clothes from her sister, her brother's wife, her husband's sister, her friend. On every function she wears new clothes showing people that she is so rich that she can wear new clothes every time.
The Muhaddiseen (scholars of hadith) interpreted this in two ways:
i) The person is spreading 2 lies. One lie that he's telling others that these are his clothes. Second lie that he's telling people that he is so rich that he can afford such clothes.
ii) This person is wearing 2 clothes of lie, the upper cloth and the lower cloth. Meaning that this person is a liar from head to toe.
A single lie is a very grave sin. How about the person who's spreading 2 lies?
This habit has destroyed many families, and is still destroying them. A woman who has 10 other woman in her family can manage to wear different clothes by borrowing every time and showing off to other people as they are her own clothes.
But what about the woman who is the only woman in family? What would she do? She would curse her husband what else?
4. No man should dress like a woman and no woman should dress like a man.
In a Hadith the Prophet PBUH cursed those men who dress like women and those women who dress like men.
Ponder over this a bit... Muhammad SallAllaahu Alaiyhi Wasallam, who did not curse the people of Taif even when they stoned him. Who prayed for their well being, who was mercy to the worlds is cursing those who resemble the opposite sex? Why is that?
That is because this is a grave matter. When a person dresses like the opposite sex, he or she is actually challenging Allah in His creation. He is saying O Allah you made me a man but I will become a woman. She is saying O Allah you made me a woman but I will become a man (actions speak louder than words).
Some sisters say.. but we only wear jeans below the Abayah. We only wear shirts in front of our husbands, to please them. We're not going out like that.
My sisters, absorb this point and embed it in your mind that these two are SEPARATE SINS.
Not covering yourself is a separate sin.
Dressing like the opposite sex is a separate sin.
The matter is shameful but it is important to say it to make the point clear. A woman can be without clothes in her bedroom, she is not sinning. Similarly she can be without clothes in her bathroom casually. She is not sinning! But if she wears clothes like men even in her room alone, she is still sinning. They are separate sins.
All 4 points above were for men and women both, this last point is for women specifically.
5. No woman should dress in a way that she is naked according to the Prophet PBUH.
The permanent fatwa committee of Saudi Arabia defined 3 such cases where a woman is clothed yet naked according to the Ahadith of the Prophet PBUH.
1. The dress is so thin that you can see the body through it.
2. The dress is so tight that you can tell what parts of the body are fat and what are thin.
3. The dress is incomplete/short.
So there you are folks. No man should point out the woman's mistakes to her in order to ridicule her or make her feel bad. Similarly no woman should do the same to a man. Your matter is with Allah. Let everyone be a judge for himself and clear his matter with Allah. Let us all return to him and let HIM be the judge for us in every matter. Let us use His gift of clothing according to the instructions He gave and not according to the instructions of the Cursed One: Shaitaan.
May Allah guide us all to the straight path and help us in being firm on it. Ameen.
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